Chapter 13: Restart
Restart: Any method of resuming the game after a stoppage of play.
“Jasper, who is it?” I hear a voice nearing the door that stops me mid-sentence.
No. Fucking. Way.
“ALICE?!”
As Jasper leans his outstretched arm against the door frame, I see a little black spiky-haired head pop out from under him...she’s wrapped in a bed sheet.
“Bella! Oh My God...umm...what are you doing here?” She looks nervous and flushed. Her cheeks are a deep pink. I’m not sure if that’s from the exertion from her “activities” with Jasper or from embarrassment, or both.
“Bella here said Edward wasn’t expectin’ her, she just wanted to surprise him, sugar.” At that term of endearment, Alice’s expression softens as she gazes dreamily at him. I’m just in awe of the master at work. I guess Edward was right about Jasper...he never crashes and burns.
“Exactly, I...um...if I would’ve known you’d be here I never would’ve interrupted...”
“Oh, psshhh, whatever, Bella...it’s not a big deal...Jasper just took me out for dinner and invited me back here for um...a nightcap. This is an amazing place, Bella...you didn’t tell me how awesome it is...” She still isn’t looking me directly in the eye, which I find rather humorous. No more than 48 hours ago, this girl told me Jasper wasn’t her type because he was cheesy....well look at her now. If I wasn’t on a mission to find Edward, I’d mess with her some more, but I decide to just give her my best amused grin.
“Oh, um...I guess it never came up in conversation, much like your apparent plans with Jasper here,” I respond, looking and grinning at Jasper. He just returns my smile with a sloppy smirk.
“Well, Edward’s in the gym downstairs...just go back down to the second floor...take a right, and it’ll be the last door on the left. He didn’t look too pleased. I hope everything’s alright with y’all?” he asks expectantly, as he wraps his arm around Alice, who is still gaping at me, I assume wondering what I am thinking about this whole fucked up situation.
“Oh, I’m hoping everything will be fine after I have a chance to talk to him. Thanks Jasper. Alice,” I lower my head and look at her pointedly, “we...will talk later...right?” I say, nodding my head in emphasis.
“Oh, yeah....of course, Bella....um...we’ll...you know...talk and...stuff...I’ll call you later,” she responds, rapidly rambling. I smile knowingly and wave as I make my way back to the elevator. I hear the door click shut and smile for my friend. I realize now that nothing is ever as it seems.
But now my mind is once again running ten steps ahead of me as I try to regain my composure. Walking up to the doors of the gym, I hear the distinct sounds of Rage Against the Machine and the rhythmic thumps of feet running on a treadmill. I hang out for a couple of minutes, listening. The beat of the music and his steps mirror the beat of my heart, and I take a very slow deep breath and let it out as I open the doors. The music roars suddenly around me and I see him on the other side of the large room; his back is towards me, his eyes focused on the large glass windows. The city flickers like Christmas lights through the darkness and for a moment, I’m reminded of why I love New York City so much. Millions of people, from all walks of life, living their lives. Each person with their own story, their own issues, just going about their lives the best way they know how-- from the richest CEO to the single mother working three jobs to make ends meet. New York has it all.
I stand still, taking the whole scene in, and my eyes finally settle on the expanse of his back muscles as they tense and flex under his white t-shirt. The shirt is drenched and clinging to his skin in the most seductive way. All I want to do is touch him...everywhere. But I’m still frozen, just watching him. After a few moments, my eyes search for somewhere to sit; finally I locate a small bench a few feet away from the door. I quietly sit and wait for him to finish. It gives me a better opportunity to wrap my head around what I’m about to do. I stare at him: he’s completely focused and in his own world. I can just imagine his determined expression-- it’s one I know well and have seen on the field, working out-- fucking me. There’s nothing like that expression when his eyes bore into mine as he pounds into me...and...oh....see? I need to stop that. This isn’t about my physical relationship with him, it’s about more. Yes, we are highly sexually compatible, of that there is no doubt in my mind. But I realize now, no, I’ve known for a while now, that we are compatible in other ways too. We’re both passionate, headstrong, and loyal. He’s the most loyal person I’ve ever met. His relationships with his family, his friends, and his relationship with me show that he definitely understands the meaning of loyalty. The way he looks at me, like I’m the only person in his world, is enough proof that he really would do anything to make me happy.
And I would do anything....anything...to make him smile at me again.
As the song comes to an end, I notice him slowing down his pace and I steel myself, straightening up in my seat, preparing for what’s to come. As he steps off and slowly turns around to face me, his eyes widen and he halts all movement. His breathing is heavy, his muscular chest rising and falling. His hair is in complete disarray; parts of it are sticking up while others cling to his forehead. I long to just reach out and brush them away with my fingers, to feel the hum of energy between us again. I can’t bear to be this far away from him.
He continues to stare at me for a moment, his eyes never straying away from mine. It’s silent communication, but I’m so confused right now about what it all means. Is he still angry? Hurt? Disappointed? Horny? I’m secretly hoping for the horny.
He finally moves to grab his towel from the treadmill’s handrail and wipes the sweat dripping from his face, turning off the stereo nearby. If this was about 48 hours ago, I would’ve jumped him and licked the sweat from his scruffy jaw to his ear. But I think that would be highly inappropriate right about now. I exhale when I notice I’m holding my breath longer than I should. His eyes finally avert from mine as they travel from my face to the rest of my body, and I suddenly feel bashful, looking down to my feet instead.
When I hear shuffling, I look up to see him starting to walk towards another door. No! I can’t let you do that, Edward.
“Please!” I blurt out as he freezes his movements.
“Please, Edward...I just need to say a few things, and if you still want to send me to hell after that I’ll understand and I’ll leave you alone. But please, just give me a few minutes.”
He stares at me again, slowly sitting down on a nearby weight-lifting bench. His forearms rest on his exceptional thighs and I’m momentarily distracted at the sight of his beautiful green eyes, his strong arms, his bronze hair, and his goddamn perfect legs. I inhale a cleansing breath and begin.
“You were right. About everything,” I close my eyes, trying to organize my thoughts. Re-opening them, I see he’s still staring at me, frozen. He looks like a living Rodin statue. Beautiful.
“I don’t know why I think the way I do. Well, actually I do...but then again, I think you know too, because I’ve told you, and you just....you know...shit....what am I saying?” This is all coming out wrong.
“Look, what I’m trying to say is...you were right about my reasons for doubting you. I was afraid... of myself, of you, of us, of what we’re becoming....and I guess I jumped on the first sign of dysfunction to...I dunno...justify my need to constantly push people away....push men away. I’ve always done that, and I’m seeing that now. But I don’t want to do that with you...to us...this,” I gesture between us, “this...is too important to me. I know you would never do anything to jeopardize your own future, and it was stupid of me to even entertain the notion that you would. I know you didn’t do it.”
Through all of my incessant rambling, he’s still. But I can tell he’s processing everything I’m saying, truly giving me the chance to expel everything in my heart. At that moment, our eyes lock and I know that this is the right moment. I’m not afraid anymore. He can either accept me or reject me... but if I don’t say it now, I’ll never forgive myself. I stand up...for added effect....because you really shouldn’t say things like this sitting down...it’s just wrong.
“Edward, I’m....I’m in love with you...and you....you can take it or leave it....if you leave it, I would totally understand...I mean, I really fucked up, and I’ll probably fuck up again, because, frankly, I suck at this relationship stuff...and I know you may not feel the same way, and I get it, but I just had to...”
I don’t have a chance to finish my thought because he’s right here...I don’t know when or how he made it to me without me noticing it, but he’s here. He’s warm and sweaty, his chest level with my eyes. My face is quickly cradled by warm hands as his mouth devours mine in one of the hottest kisses I’ve ever experienced. He breathes through his nose loudly as he tilts my head to delve his tongue deeper, coaxing mine to say greet him. An involuntary moan escapes from me, spurring Edward on as he guides my arms to clasp around his neck. His hands grab my waist roughly, sending our bodies backwards until we hit a wall.
This is all that matters to me. I guess he forgives me, which is great. I don’t need words from him...words are overrated. This is much better.
I notice however, that Edward does slow down until we both need to gasp for breath. His mouth then travels to the sweet spot on my neck that he knows drives me stupid crazy. I hear him mumble something against my neck, the vibrations of his voice spread goosebumps across my skin and send my girlie bits into a frenzy.
“What?” I ask.
He lifts his head to meet my gaze, and his expression nearly knocks me off my feet. He looks like...wait...are his eyes...is Edward Masen about to cry? He must see my silent question, because his hand quickly wipes them away. “Just got some sweat in my eyes,” he explains. Yeah...sure. I lift one side of my mouth to smile.
“Bella, I love you so fucking much, I don’t know which way is up half the time. And I have to admit that when you doubted my innocence, it hurt like you wouldn’t believe.” He guides us to sit back down on my bench, and releases me, taking my hands into his as he looks directly into my eyes. “I felt my heart shatter into a million fucking little pieces because I thought you knew me better than that....and yeah, you’re right, we haven’t been together that long, but you know? There’s something about us...and I’m not sure I can explain it properly. A lot of people explain it differently, you know...like love at first sight, or soul mates, or fucking past lives and shit...but none of that really fits with what we are. We just fit, Bella. I look at you, and it’s like I see a part of me I didn’t know was missing. And now that I have that piece, I’m disabled without it... without you.”
My vision starts to blur as tears form. Edward grazes his fingers on my cheek, sweetly wiping them away.
“I just want you to know and believe in your heart that I would do anything for you, for us. I want this to work. I wouldn’t have accepted the contract from New York if I didn’t want this. So please, please, Bella...I need to know that you trust me completely. Because I trust you. I’m giving you my heart, Bella. It’s all I have of real value. I’m at your mercy. We’re good together...” He trails off to almost a whisper. My hand traces his face from his temple to his jaw, my thumb settling on his full lips. He takes my hand and kisses my thumb and, in turn each finger. I melt.
“I’m sorry, Edward...I’m new to this stuff...I need to know that you forgive me...” I don’t know why I say that, I just need verbal confirmation that we can finally move on to more important things....like makeup sex.
He gives me The Smirk. Oh, how I’ve missed you!
“Baby, I forgave you when I left last night...I knew you needed some time to process what you said and what I told you, but I knew you’d figure it out...”
I lean away and gape at him in shock, mouth wide open. “What?! You mean....wait....you mean you just let me suffer like this when you’d already forgiven me?”
He smiles triumphantly. “Yep...just wanted to see you squirm.”
“And why did you make like you were leaving the room?”
“Because you were taking too long, so I wanted to drink some water at the water fountain around the corner. Watching you freak out was just a plus.”
Oh, the NERVE! “How dare you! I can’t believe you’d do that to me....not that I didn’t deserve it but...” Again, I’m silenced by his mouth on me...and I’ll stop talking now.
Our kisses turn heated in seconds and my legs move to straddle him. But he stills and grips my hips to stop.
“What?! You don’t want to...?” I ask, embarrassed by my apparent misinterpretation of sexual signals. He looks at me wide-eyed and shakes his head quickly. “No! NO, it’s not that at all...it’s just...” He gestures pointing upwards and my eyes follow to see a small camera attached to the ceiling. Understanding dawns on me immediately and my mouth forms an ‘O’ while I nod slowly. “I see.”
But the hunger in his eyes is unmistakable and he starts to look around for something...what, I’m not sure...
He suddenly taps my hips in silent request to dismount him and he stands, taking my hand and dragging me towards a door on the other side of the room. Once we’re there I notice the sign on the door: “Sauna.”
Oooooooh...this might be fun.
The steam is not turned on but it’s dark and quiet, and soundproof. Edward pulls me into the darkness, kicking the door closed with his foot and locking it.
“No cameras in here?” I whisper.
“No cameras....sorry...I didn’t think you’d be interested in having a picture of us fucking on the cover of every rag magazine in the grocery store. You can’t trust anyone...”
“Except each other,” I add, because after our conversation a few minutes ago, it’s all about trust for us.
He nods in acknowledgement and dips his head to nuzzle my neck and push me against the wall. We continue where we left off outside and it’s heaven. His hands quickly travel over every inch of my body as I make quick work of his shirt and shorts. I help him by lifting my arms up as he discards my shirt and bra. We’re desperate for each other and there’s a tremendous amount of urgency in our movements, as if we’ve spent years apart and are just now reacquainting ourselves, which is totally silly since we were only apart for a day. Apparently, a day is now too much time away from each other.
I feel his hands at my side, grasping at my waist and hips as he licks up and down my neck. The sensations are incredible, but I really shouldn’t be surprised. He knows my body better than anyone. His fingers slide under the waistband of my jeans and just like that, they’re on the floor along with my panties. I’m totally naked for him and he takes a moment to pause and gaze at what’s before him.
“Fucking beautiful.” Since my eyes finally adjust to the darkness I can make out his eyes, now dark and hooded, and he’s about to attack.
Oh, please...attack me.
His eyes disappear as he lowers to kiss and suck across my chest, his hand fondling one of my breasts, his mouth on the other. My hands comb through his wet hair and when he gently bites my nipple, my fingers curl and grab as I bring him closer to me.
Edward continues his journey down to my stomach where his fingertips caress my sides as he places open-mouthed kisses around my navel until he’s kneeling in front of me. He stops and gazes up to me, an evil grin plastered on his face. Oh, what this man does to me is nothing short of magnificent.
He helps me out of my jeans and panties that are currently pooled at my feet. Once I am free, he quickly lifts one of my legs. No sooner does he place it on his shoulder to I see him dive in, flattening his tongue against my hoohah, eliciting the biggest porn-star moan I never knew I could produce. My hands pull on his hair but push him impossibly closer as his tongue does truly spectacular things to my clit. He groans, sending me into overdrive as his voice vibrates against my happy place. I already feel the familiar tightening deep down in my nether regions when he dips one finger inside me, pumping first slowly, then faster when he hears my whimpers of approval.
“Oh yes, babyyyyyyyy,” I whine while he dips a second finger into me and pumps furiously.
“So so wet...so sweet...God you taste too good...” He manages to say in between his ministrations with his tongue and mouth.
“God, I missed you....just thinking I could lose you...I couldn’t even imagine not being close to you anymore...OH!” I pant.
Just then, he simultaneously sucks on my clit and curls the fingers inside me towards the spot that makes me speak a different language and proclaim him a god.
“OH SHIT! fuckinghellmothershitfuckholyfuck!”
Yeah...it’s that good.
I don’t know how I’m still standing but before I have a chance to come down from Magical O-Land, he’s inches away again and I smash my mouth to his, tasting myself as my tongue explores. It’s so erotic I know he’s about to combust, so I slink my hand down to his very hard erection and palm it against his boxer briefs, eliciting a porn-moan of his own into my mouth. My other hand moves to remove the offending garment so that we’re now both exposed to each other. He steps out of them and his hands firmly press against my ass, lifting me up against the wall. My legs quickly wrap around his waist and I can feel his dick against my entrance. As he thrusts into me the first time, we both gasp. We still and stare into each other’s eyes, and it’s different...it’s all different now.
“I love you,” he whispers, and I’m done.
“Oh, God...” is all I can say as he starts to slowly slide in and out of me, savoring the feel of each pass. But I want it faster. I need it faster, so I lift my arms and grab onto the low wooden beams above to steady myself. He looks at me, the meaning behind my actions suddenly clear to him, and I just nod. His one hand grasps at my ass while the other is against the wall next to my head, and he transforms into the caveman I love. His thrusts are powerful, hard and fast...and I’m holding on for dear life. But I love this. I love that I love him more than anything and the sex doesn’t change. It’s always like this. I was always afraid that love meant sappiness. That two people in love could only make slow and delicate love to each other. And while there’s a time and place for all of that, it’s good to know that Edward and I still know how to fuck each other’s brains out.
Yes...makeup sex RULES. I should try to piss him off more.
“Baby, I’m close....I need you to come for me again, baby...” he grunts against my neck.
Under the present circumstances, I’m unable to touch myself, and I know he can’t because he’s holding me up, so I think of what would make me fall to pieces...and there’s only one other thing...
“Say it again...” It’s barely a whisper...I’m not sure if he heard me at all.
“I need you to come...”
“No no...not that....”
He lifts his head to look at me, and the intensity in his eyes is unparalleled as he realizes what I want. He grins.
“Baby, I love you, so much,” he says as he continues his thrusts and I fall. I open my eyes to meet his.
“Oh My God! I love you I love you I love you!” I chant as my orgasm paralyzes me. His movements don’t cease and seconds later he comes into me hard and fiercely.
“FUCK! Damn shit! MINE!” He grunts loudly.
He gently lowers me to the ground and my legs are jelly, so I sit down on a bench. Edward simply kneels down in front of me, sitting on his heels and rests his head on my lap, his arms wrapped around my waist. My hands massage his scalp as we both take a moment to regulate our breathing in silence.
Nothing....NOTHING is better than this.
He suddenly breaks the silence. “Well, that was interesting,” he says as he places a light kiss on my thigh. I giggle. “Yeah, that’s certainly one way to describe it.”
“Let’s go upstairs...I think we both need a shower and if you want we can just watch a movie or something.”
“Um, that might be a problem...” I can’t help but think of the scene I was privy to prior to coming to see Edward.
“How so? Jasper’s room is on the other side of the apartment, he won’t even know we’re around.”
“Oh, I beg to differ,” I say as he lifts his head and narrows his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“OH, let’s just say that I only knew where you were because Jasper answered the door...”
Edward nods slowly, “Oookkkaaay? And?”
“He wasn’t alone.”
“Really?” He asks, raising his eyebrows. “Did you see her? What did she look like?”
“Um...it was Alice.”
The scene plays out in his mind and he lets out the loudest laugh I’ve ever heard, which in turn makes me laugh and giggle loudly as well.
“Wow...can’t say I’m surprised. What did I tell you? Was I right or was I right?!”
“Yes, you were right...” I concede.
“Then? Was she upset? Shocked to see you?”
“She looked like a deer in headlights,” I say as he bursts out into another fit of laughter.
“Oh man, that’s funny. Well, my cell phone’s in my shorts; I’ll give him a quick text and make sure the coast is clear.”
That statement reminds me of something that had been nagging me.
“Um, Edward?”
“Yes, baby,” he says, typing out a text.
“Why didn’t you respond to my calls or text messages?”
He pauses, then looks at me. “Yeah, I um...I can’t lie and say I wasn’t angry. Even though I told you I forgave you, I wasn’t really ready to talk yet. And plus, I’ve been speaking with Felix and the Union back and forth with all this bullshit...I really needed to focus on getting the appeal accepted so I can retest and put all this behind me.”
That’s a good enough reason for me, so I lay my concerns to rest. I decide to tell him my suspicions.
“Edward, do you have any idea who may want to take you down? I mean, you haven’t been in New York long at all...I don’t see how you could’ve made enemies this quickly. But, the test did come back positive, so if you didn’t do it, then someone planted it there.”
He ponders what I’ve said for a moment after finishing his text to Jasper, and puts his phone in his pocket. “No, I’ve been wracking my brain over the same questions for hours. I hardly know anyone here, save Emmett, and there’s no way he would’ve done something like this. He’s my best friend; we’ve been through a lot together.”
I have my doubts. Emmett didn’t deny that Edward could’ve taken steroids when Rose questioned him, so he wasn’t off my shit list just yet. But as it was, I didn’t have much of a shit list at all. That would have to change. But I decide to not voice my opinions on that just yet. The last thing Edward needs to worry about is the loyalty of the one friend he has...at least not yet. I still didn’t have a motive, so I could be completely wrong about Emmett.
“Well, someone did something...either they slipped it in your water, food, or your other vitamins, or someone’s been paid off at the lab. But I’m going to get to the bottom of it.”
As we re-dress he responds, “Bella, I don’t want you involved. As it is, you being a reporter, a sports reporter no less, could be seen as a conflict of interest, and I will not have you compromise your career for mine. Let someone else take care of it.”
“Ah, but you don’t know what I have planned,” I say tapping my index finger to my temple. “I will not be directly involved in any formal investigative reporting...”
Edward looks at me suspiciously. “Belllllaaaaa,” he warns.
“But,” I continue, ignoring him, “I do have my ways of getting answers. And answers I shall get.” I move closer to him and kiss his nose. His arms quickly encircle me and we hug. He’s warm and sweaty....and frankly, a little stinky, but I don’t care. There’s no other place I want to be. He breathes into my hair deeply, then releases me as he guides me out of the dark room and into the bright lights of the gym. We squint at the sudden change as we make our way towards the elevators and up to his pent house. It’s turning out to be a great night.
But Edward has no idea what I’ve got up my sleeve. I’m getting to the bottom of this and I’m going to make sure whoever did this to him, pays. No one messes with Bella Swan’s man.
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